From my mind!
"And it was..." The line is cut. The whole page is filled with scribblings.
Writing was always something so complex for me. Sometimes I'll feel an intuition, but it was never so real. My writing was so sporadic. I first of all said about my writing because it was the first thing which I felt lost during the lockdown. Everyone will have their own weak points this year. Writing, for me, was not so comfortable. There are many reasons: I've got less writing. But rather I'd say my mind has become less responsive.
As a child, I'll start with my own community. Saying about Indian kids, they have suffered a lot during this time. Irrespective of gender, there can be some issues:- we aren't having a capable agency to approach. Despite I from a state with high health records, it's not upto the grassroots! We've to evolve more!
Why? Because we are under big pressure indeed! Issues can include being socially isolated, family issues, criticism by family members for our new ventures like social media, blogging and even class conflict and shame when teacher asks to turn the video on but you can't because your data will be drained or the camera won't work because your drunk dad broke it yesterday. Don't think that children can't feel anything!
My depression aggravated during the lockdown. Depression is one of the diseases in the world which is so deadly and diverse but so easily made trivial by people. Plus, I'll have some other dozen thoughts railing through my mind, but I can't even define them because I don't know what they are. I will be seen inspecting the smallest things for no reason. The thing I want now the most is an agency to share my agonies; but I fear about their minds too. In fact I don't know much about anything but I want to present anything before the push is over. My mind is so dynamic. I need someone to share. And that'll be when people will be like: "Oh you're sharing it with a friend not parents!" "Oh My God did you consult a psychologist! Are you mad?" " These are your whims and fancies don't overthink!" and these repeating sentences are heard by every teenager who's my same condition. They can't value privacy, health and validity of a disease.
Although we might have conflicts with them, they're the next affected group: parents. I can't get much about them because I've not studied much. But here's my neighborhood senior couple who live in a house which is in a comparatively higher area. They live in the first floor. Their only son is settled abroad. They'll surely feel insecure. But the house was built according to their plan, so lockdown made us rethink on our decisions too. But to err is human, right! To correct it is the beautiful thing! But what will I say about my own parents? Except that they've got bits of technology from us, they too are falling deep and deep. There's the obvious and first issue of generation gap. It affects both of us. And employment is another major villain. The last year was a time of mass removing and migrant exodus. Elsewhere, salaries weren't regularly provided. And somewhere else, retirement was the villain. Or it was the educational cost which made them to take a loan. All these have made serious implications. But the vampire isn't here yet- serials. They've only helped to cement stereotypes. We can't blame our parents because it's their only entertainment after the day's hectic schedule.
There's the next group of disabled persons. Being the sibling of such a person, I could say that it's no easy thing. Neither it's a matter of boasting because the witnesses will be just helplessly looking. Isolated, disengaged, idleness, mundanity and everything makes them jump and at last crying their heart out. My brother got somewhat happy and engaged when the LSG started coordination programs. But online sessions too are a matter of taking your mental health out. Wishing to meet friends in person and swearing at COVID-19 are some repercussions.
Students who are more private- I don't know whether all them are introverted ones, are indeed another priority group. They face lots of compulsions during online classes. Some others will shrink to themselves in social media so that no one manipulates their vulnerability. I've such an instance where random persons simply called me on Truecaller and came for sexual advances on Instagram and I had to sort a way out. At first sight, Indians will blame me, but the culprits are still safe.
The next section is no less significant - our queerfolks. Do you know that in my class, teachers will refer to boys and girls only. And for an ally like me, that too is a form of exclusion. When I asked a teacher about it, he casually replied not to mention unwanted things since there was no queer person in my class then. My whole class laughed at me except some very private friends. Perhaps some will even feel I'm horribly woke. Queers are fighting for their existence everyday. I have my own privilege of a cishet lady. So I'll feel it less. But it's real that cases like that of Anannya Kumari and Nandana Suresh are still so funny, and queers are having funny names instead of inclusive informality among peers.
Our mind is so inexplicable. Floating. We need help and guidance and it's better to stand for each other during times of hardship. It's ok to not be okay. Let everybody have accessibility to care and love.
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